So the economy is booming, and more and more people want to go to business school. As an alumnus of one of the better known MBA programs, yours truly has been much in demand as a coach, guide, and essay-reading guinea pig. So one of the persons I was helping out with applications, asked me very seriously what was the one thing I learnt in those months that I spent cut off from the rest of civilized folks.
This got me thinking- I mean I have just paid off a loan which almost bankrupted me and half of my family. I had eaten 600 Turkish kebabs filled with mystery meat for lunch and dinner for months. (No breakfast-I was usually throwing up at that time). So what one thing was worth the loss of hair, life-long savings and a nasty stomach ulcer?
So what is that one thing? Hmmm it's not sexual skills for sure. Despite the school's rightful reputation for orgies-yours truly did not get to participate in any. No sirree, I was the gangly, nerdy guy standing in the corner, sipping my rum-and-coke while drunken batchmates hungrily licked whipped cream off each others nipples. It wasn't job skills. I have learnt more on the job than from some professors who only talked about how they had nailed their 4th wife in-between their 2nd divorce. Not social and networking skills, I'm afraid. I only got to know about 2 people really well.
So what did I learn that could possibly justify the expense of labor, time, money, hair, sexual potency? The answer ladies and gents is that I learnt to recognize crooks. You see, I was in a crazy world where you get to see some of nature's finest tax evaders, corporate swindlers and downright charlatans take shape. One giant candy store-fudge-meisters, truth-benders and CV inflators are all available. From the polished, suave, tux wearing, Porsche driving gentleman to the jersey wearing, unshaven rascal with the bhendi-bazar meets Brooklyn accent. Who would you like to watch and learn from today?
End result? After months of this, you develop crook-radar. An in-built intuition that allows you to seek and destroy those pesky cockroaches before they can infect you, your company or your family with their crooked plans.
Fee for the program- Too many euros. Loss of time in the workforce-many months. Ability to recognize crooks before they can hurt you-priceless.